Focus on the Good Stuff: The Power of Appreciation

"Have you ever had something taken away from you only to realize how much you appreciated it after it was gone?

I often ask this question from friends and colleagues.

Most of us have taken someone or something for granted. We only truly realized how much that person or situation meant to us after the fact.

We often waste way too much of our time and energy focusing on what we don’t like, what we’re worried about, or what we think needs to be fixed, changed, or enhanced. We live in a culture obsessed with “bad stuff.” Just turn on the news, listen to the conversations and negative attitudes of the people around you, or pay attention to the thoughts in your own head.

The Power of Appreciation in Your Life

What if we stopped this negative obsession and started paying attention to what and whom we appreciate, right now?

Imagine how this simple but profound shift could transform our lives, our families, our relationships, our results, our work groups, our communities, and more. Our experience is a function of what we focus on. Each and every moment we have a choice about where we place our attention.

I am not advocating that we deny, avoid, or run from the challenges, issues, or even the pain in our lives or around us. It’s important that we’re able to confront, face, and deal with these difficulties. However, we don’t have to obsess about the bad stuff and let it run us. We each can consciously choose to focus on the good stuff in our lives, with others, and most importantly towards ourselves.

There are great things happening in your life and around you all the time - if you choose to look for them.

Five Principles for Living a Life Filled With Appreciation

1) Be Grateful – Focus on the many blessings in your life and all that you have to be thankful for.

2) Choose Positive Thoughts and Feelings – Make a conscious decision to transform your negative thoughts and feelings into ones that empower you.

3) Use Positive Words – Pay attention to the words you use with others, about things, and in speaking about yourself. Speak with the most positive words possible. Our words have the power to create, not just describe.

4) Acknowledge Others – Focus on what you appreciate about the people around you and let them know. Be genuine and let others know the positive impact they have on you and your life.

5) Appreciate Yourself – Celebrate who you are, what you do, and the many gifts and talents you have. Self-appreciation is not arrogance; it’s an awareness of your own power and the key to self-confidence, success, and fulfillment.

When we truly focus on this good stuff, our world transforms and we are able to see and experience the GREAT FULLNESS of our lives.

We don’t have to wait until everything is handled. We don’t have to wait until we get it all perfect. And, we don’t have to wait for people to do things exactly as we want them to. We can start appreciating life, others, and ourselves exactly as we are, right now.

Don’t wait ‘til it’s too late!

Manifest Your Desires by Letting Go.

The first thing we learn about how to manifest reality is the value of focusing our emotions and the images we hold in our mind. It's critical, we are told, to focus vividly on exactly what we want and hold this intention both faithfully and joyfully at all times.

This is an accurate explanation of how to get started. But the fact is sometimes manifesting your desires has more to do with letting go and releasing your attachment.

It took me quite a while to figure this out. Looking back I had read about this important part of the process many times, but it hadn't appealed to my ego and therefore I failed to give it proper attention.

While our starting point in the manifestation process is focusing our whole being on our intentions, too much intensity will actually derail our efforts. Remember the law of attraction works by virtue of the vibrations we are holding in the moment.

If you constantly and with great fervor focus your thoughts, feelings, physical energy, and visual faculties on things you want, it's likely you will be paying attention to what is missing form your life at this time. For example, thinking about the money you desire 24 hours a day is sure to trigger thoughts of lack and images of yourself currently being without this specific amount of money.

Your acknowledgment of lack, coupled with the intense emotions and projection of deliberate manifestation exercises, can be a recipe for attracting more lack.

This is not easy to accept. In fact it's a little bit outrageous if we're being blunt.

But it's critical to your success that you understand the fine line between intentional manifestation and counterproductive obsession. I won't pretend to understand every nuance and fine point involved in the process of creation (nor should anyone else!) but experience has taught me that remaining somewhat detached from my desires is the most effective approach.

By living in the present moment, allowing your natural happiness to emerge, and believing in your desires with relaxed confidence, you create the vibration that will attract or manifest the things you seek. Whereas becoming consumed by your desire tends to slow or completely defeat the manifestation process.

The best advice I can give you is to remain relaxed and focus on having fun. Enjoy the process of visualizing, affirming, and believing but do not allow these activities to dominate your life.

Humanity has a long way to travel before we can understand fully all the mysteries of universal intelligence. Perhaps one day we'll have access to specific metaphysical knowledge that allows us to work with virtual reality models during the process of manifestation; but in the meantime we must trust our intuitive guidance systems.

And if you listen both your intuition and your emotions will tell you that letting go is the true key to realizing your destiny. It's more than fine to want the things you want, just don't allow your ego to dominate you and lead you down the path of obsession.

In summary: Know what you want and intend it vividly; then relax and live your life in the present moment, happy with what you have and content in the belief that great things are on the way to you.

The Leader Next Door Needs Written Goals.

You're the leader next door and have heard over and over that you need to set goals and write them down. You sit down in front of the computer to make a list of what development you want to take place in your followers. Maybe you are a manager and they are your sales staff in an office. Your list includes all the things you want them to be aware of as well as all the things you want them to know and appreciate.

One goal may look something like this: "The members of my team shall learn appreciate the value of my organization's training system". There is nothing wrong with this type of goal, but there's nothing really right about it. What do you need to do?

Fuzzy Goals

The above example is something that is referred to as a fuzzy goal. It is abstract and refers to an internal condition in the mind and emotions of the team member. How can the leader next door know when it has been accomplished? How do you measure how aware they are?

Goals like these are called "fuzzy goals". They are not measurable. Neither you nor your follower will be able to say when or if they were successful. If your goals are fuzzy, you should do more analysis to determine what it is you really want from your followers.

Write down your fuzzy goal as a start of the analysis process and only look at one at a time. Don't waste time criticizing what you've already written. Instead, make sure your statements are clear. (A goal may consist of two or three sentences.) Ask yourself, "What do I want them to do?"

Make the statements very specific. Avoid forms of "to be" as they weaken the goal statement. For example instead of saying, "I want them to be courteous when they greet people." Try sentences like, "I want them to smile, shake, hands, and give a positive affirmation when they greet people." Do you see the difference? You can measure the latter.

When you get done rewriting, ask yourself, will I be satisfied that they are successful if they do this. The purpose behind developmental goals should always be the success of the person being developed. Do this and you will have goals that are concrete and measurable.

Four components of a well-written goal

As the leader next door, you will want to write goals that are complete and well written. Four things need to take place: The goal should describe the follower; it should describe the tools that the follower will have to learn and perform the activity; it should describe the context in which the follower will use it; and it should describe clearly what the follower will do.

Try this with a goal or two that you already have in the back of your mind. You'll be amazed at the clarity it brings. It will create a revolution in your leadership goal setting effectiveness.

Tips to Embrace Change.

Successful people embrace change. They understand that everything around them changes, all of the time and they adapt accordingly. Although change can be exciting, it can also be fearful and a bit overwhelming. When change happens you have two choices: Accept it or resist it. The choice is yours. What is stopping you from reaching for that brass ring?

If you chose to resist change, you most likely have done so because of fear. Fear can be an immobilizing emotion and if not managed correctly, can rob you of many opportunities and from creating and enjoying an abundant life. There is an acronym for F.E.A.R - False Evidence Appearing Real. We create false evidence in our minds to justify our decision not to move forward. We also become so overwhelmed with fear, that we lose focus and lose sight of what is really important to us and this single factor, can keep us in our current situations and living our lives in its current state. If you want to overcome your fear, here are some final words of wisdom and tips that have worked for me:

1)Everyone fears something.

Nobody is invincible. Everyone has encountered fear at one time or another, even the most successful people in the world so you are not alone and can get through it as many before you have.

2)Take small steps

Break down your action into smaller actions that you build upon. For example, if you are scheduled to give a presentation to a large group but are fearful, try talking with smaller groups. If you are trying to exercise, try walking around the block. You do not have to run that marathon right now if you are afraid, but you do need to look for continual improvement and take action towards your goal.

3)Nobody is paying attention to you.

So many times, we fear embarrassment or not being accepted by others. In the top ten fears of humans, Public Speaking holds the number 1 spot, while death holds number 5. Meaning, people would rather end their life rather than not be accepted by a group. The truth is, nobody is paying attention to you and you need to be confident in who you are and worry less about what other people think.

4)Staying positive, motivated and focused.

One of the most powerful weapons in your arsenal is a healthy mind. Remind yourself each day why you want to achieve your goals, what positive changes will come to your life and remain on target. You must never lose sight of your target and where you want to go and more importantly, the why.

5)Accept failure as part of change

Things do not always go our way. We will fail. It is not the failure that we should be focused on but what we learned from that failure so we do not repeat again. By changing your mindset to look at failure as an opportunity to grow and to learn, you will create the behaviors to support taking the next action to move you closer to your goal.

6)Embrace a live in the moment attitude.

Focus your energy in the moment. Do not dwell in the past or constantly dream about the future. You have a life going on right now - embrace the moment. Be completely present and engaged in what is going on right now - your conversations, your relationships, your career, everything. Appreciate what you have and focus on making the changes you need to right now in this moment!

7) Allow change to happen.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over the same way expecting different results. The only way you and your life are going to change is to let change happen. Transform, be free and embrace every opportunity as a positive experience.

8) Do what makes you happy!

For your goals to work, they must be personal and you must have an emotional connection to the result. You own your own life so do what makes you happy. Not what you think others want from you. If the people in your life truly love you, they will support you in decisions and I guarantee you they want you to be happy.

If you chose to accept change, you are in for the ride of your lifetime! Your life is going to change and since you are in complete control of your choices, you life will be all you desire. In Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he discusses being aware of the things you can control in life and the things that you cannot control. Knowing this difference is critical in accepting change.